Zen and The Art of
Walking Your Reactive Dog

Everyone knows how a "good dog" is supposed to act. A good dog is friendly, calm, quiet, and tolerant. Good dogs don't growl, bark, or lunge at people or other dogs. Plenty of these dogs exist, but if you are reading this, you likely have a dog who is struggling. And you are probably struggling, too.

Living with a reactive dog is hard. A short potty break can quickly become what feels like a disaster, complete with your own roller coaster of emotions. You may experience embarrassment, shame, frustration, anger, fear, and resentment on walks. The stress of living with a reactive dog can seep into other areas of your life, causing anxiety and even depression. You are not alone. Behavioral issues like lunging and barking at dogs, people, bicycles, etc., are more common than you think.

And yet, it is possible to love your reactive dog and enjoy outings together. Here are some ways to shift your thinking and stay centered when your dog flips out.

Chances are you’ve already received unsolicited advice from friends, family members, and even random strangers. The Internet and social media are also teeming with advice, articles, and training videos. Some are very good, but there is also a lot of outdated and outright dangerous advice online. Dog training is a science, and a knowledgeable force-free behavior consultant will be able to guide you. Beware of anyone who offers guarantees or promises a quick fix for reactivity.

First, do no harm. Using corrections or punishment to “train” an anxious, scared, or reactive dog is inhumane. Punishment may temporarily suppress symptoms like growling, barking, and lunging, but it will not produce long-lasting behavioral change.

There is near unanimous agreement in scientific literature, and among those holding degrees in animal behavior, that punishment and aversive tools, like prong or shock collars, are unnecessary and can worsen a dog’s fear, frustration, anxiety, or aggression. You can help your reactive dog without force or pain.

Your dog's world might need to get smaller before it can get bigger. This is frustrating if your dog was previously outgoing and happily went everywhere and only developed reactivity during adolescence or later in life. But it’s important to meet your dog where they're at now, which might mean forgoing neighborhood walks, avoiding busy, dog-filled parks, and not walking at dog o'clock (in most places, this means 8 a.m. and 5 p.m.).

While occasional stress is unavoidable, putting your dog in situations where they have the chance to lunge and bark will set your training back. More exposure to upsetting things is not a fix for reactivity, and repeated and chronic stress can lead to poor physical and behavioral health. Working with a reactive dog is like filling a bucket: each time your dog sees a trigger (another dog, a skateboard, the UPS guy) and nothing upsetting happens, you are filling the bucket with positive associations. Conversely, each time your dog rehearses anxiety or fear-based behaviors, the stronger these reactive behaviors become.

If you make a conscious decision to keep your dog under their anxiety threshold, both of you can have pleasant walks. This video explains thresholds and is a must-watch for anyone with a reactive dog.

Anticipatory stress can turn a regular dog walk into a nail-biting experience. Having the right gear makes a world of difference, especially if you are worried about your dog jumping or lunging, getting into a fight with another dog, biting someone, or bolting. Live in the moment, but be prepared.

Dogs are masters at reading body language. When you are in high-stress mode, your dog will react to the tone of your voice, your body posture and gait, and any tension on the leash. Dogs are good at co-regulation, and knowing you can physically handle unexpected contingencies like off-leash dogs or random strangers will help put both you and your dog at ease. When you are calm, it helps your dog be calm.

Here is a short list of items you should have when walking a reactive dog:

1. Y-shaped Harness. A harness that your dog cannot slip out of is essential. Using two leashes, one clipped to the front D-ring and the other to the back D-ring, provides more control for walking larger dogs.
2. Substantial Leash. Skinny leashes on big dogs are a recipe for disaster. Try a thick rope leash with a knot tied halfway down for purchase. My favorite is this heavy-duty leash made from climbing rope.
3. Waist Belt/Hands-Free Running Belt. If you're worried about your dog yanking the leash out of your hand unexpectedly, pair a leash with a carabiner and a waist belt for another layer of safety.
4. Compressed Air/Spray. This is a very helpful item when off-leash dogs come bounding up to your nervous pup. Note: This is not to be used as a training tool for your dog but as an emergency backup for approaching dogs who will not back off.
5. Great Treats. A treat bag filled with high-value treats is essential for training and, when necessary, to distract your dog from anxiety-provoking triggers.
6. Well-fitted Muzzle. If your walks are filled with worry that your dog may bite, conditioning them to wear a muzzle is a necessity.

Having a reactive dog means you are often on high alert. Being constantly on the lookout for off-leash dogs or other triggers can be all-consuming, as you dread each blind corner or chance encounter.

Try turning your hypervigilance and anticipatory stress into an opportunity to be fully present. Put the phone away, remove your headphones, and pay attention to your environment and your dog. When your dog has big feelings about things they see on walks, don't leave them hanging out alone on the end of the leash. Your presence matters the most at this time.

If you find yourself marching through dog walks with your head on a swivel, get creative and choose different locations for outings. Avoid situations that will cause either of you stress, and go to places where you can both enjoy being outside. The time and hassle of getting to a quieter environment far outweigh the stress of repeated outbursts. Instead of fixating on your dog’s limitations, look for and be present for glimmers of healing, connection, and joy.

Be conservative and don't gamble with your dog's behavior. Do not wait and see what your dog will do. If you suspect your dog might react, be proactive and create distance by moving away before the lungy-barky outburst. Constantly testing what your dog can handle and putting them on the edge of challenging situations will make for a frustrating walk for both of you.

Don’t forget to give your dog plenty of breaks to take in their surroundings. Reduce arousal by slowing down on walks and letting them sniff, meander, and observe. This gives you permission to stop and smell the flowers, too.

Your dog's behavior does not reflect on you as a person. As hard as it may be, stop worrying about what people think and let go of the fear of being judged. Of course, it’s embarrassing when your dog totally loses it in public. And it’s okay if you sometimes feel like a failure. Remember, both you and your dog are doing the best you can. It’s not the end of the world if your dog has a meltdown. Take a deep breath and keep walking.

Dogs can become reactive for many reasons, and your dog’s behavior may have nothing to do with how you raised them. Genetics, a traumatic experience, stress in utero, lack of early socialization, and previous training involving pain or coercion can all cause or exacerbate reactivity. Also please note that illness and pain can cause behavioral issues in dogs, including reactivity and aggression. That’s why a thorough vet check is always the first step in diagnosing the cause of your dog’s behavior, especially if the behavior is new.

Many guardians become obsessed with "fixing" their dog’s reactivity. Resist the temptation to make every walk a training session. Setting goals is fine as long as there is no attachment to the outcome. Do not tie your sense of self-worth to accomplishing training goals in a set amount of time. Every dog has a different timeline for behavior modification for fear, anxiety, or aggression. There are no instant solutions or quick fixes for reactivity.

It’s normal to fantasize about having an "easy" dog or to envy friends with happy-go-lucky, nonreactive dogs. But just because your dog is reactive at 12 months old doesn't mean they will necessarily be reactive throughout their life. With effort, consistency, and training, you can move through this. Your dog might never be a social butterfly at the dog park, but your outings can still be rewarding and fun.

Your reactive dog is not a "bad" dog, and they are not intentionally giving you a hard time - they are having a hard time. Growling, barking, or lunging are usually symptoms of fear, anxiety, or frustration. These reactions are just big emotions with nowhere to go.

If your dog tells you they're upset, believe them. Reactivity is likely more difficult for your dog than it is for you. Even so, don’t be hard on yourself. You’re only human, and some days you run out of patience. You can’t always be perfect, and some days, you and your dog will both have big feelings.

Your connection with your dog is real and deep, and caregiver burnout is also real. Give yourself permission to take a break from training or shorten your walk if it’s not going well. If you don’t feel one hundred percent, it's okay not to walk your dog that day. You can't help your dog if you don't care for yourself first.

It’s understandable to get upset when off-leash dogs run up on you and cause a ruckus, but here’s a next-level ask: practice loving kindness towards clueless dog owners. Most dog owners are doing the best they can, or they just don't know better. Bite your tongue, take a deep breath, and keep walking. Anger and vitriol never make a bad situation better.

Unfortunately, we don’t have control over all the upsetting things in the world. Sometimes, the unexpected occurs, whether it’s an off-leash dog, a tall, drunk stranger appearing suddenly, or a thundering herd of hill-bombing skateboarders. There will be times when you are both caught off guard.

When a dog is over threshold, their body and brain are engulfed with stress hormones, and they have little control over their reactions and behavior. This is not a teachable moment. No one can learn when they are freaking out. When your dog is in a panic, there is only one thing you can do: move away from the upsetting thing. Don't make your dog sit, don't make your dog look at you, do not correct them or yell at them. Just get the heck out of Dodge.

Don’t beat yourself up when the unexpected occurs and your dog loses their cool. The walk isn’t ruined, and the day isn’t a loss. Take a breath and begin again.

Humans are arguably the loudest and most reactive species on the planet. And yet we expect our dogs to maintain their composure even as we struggle with our own reactivity. It's a shared challenge we face: exaggerated responses when confronted with fear, frustration, or situations beyond our control.

Remember, progress is gradual, and setbacks are a natural part of the process. It's not a sprint but a marathon of learning and growth. By embracing mindfulness and compassion, you can discover joy even in the most challenging circumstances. So take a deep breath, keep moving forward, and know that each step strengthens the bond between you and your dog.